All I want for Christmas is...

My Dad.

He would read us The Polar Express on Christmas Eve.

No matter how tough things were he always made sure that it was special for us. He always held it together during tough financial times and was the best Santa. 

I wish I could be that great of a parent.

I can only hope my kids feel the same way about me as I do about my father.

Maybe someday I will be able to have a perfect holiday season. A perfect holiday season when I can feel the magic during this time of year like I once did as a child.

Not as I do now crippled with depression, sadness and anxiety.

All I want for Christmas is you (dad)

In for the kill

We can fight our desires
But when we start making fires
We get ever so hot
Whether we like it or not
They say we can love who we trust
But what is love without lust?
Two hearts with accurate devotions
And what are feelings without emotions?

I'm going in for the kill
I'm doing it for a thrill
Oh I'm hoping you'll understand
And not let go of my hand

I hang my hopes out on the line
Will they be ready for you in time
If you leave them out too long
They'll be withered by the sun
Full stops and exclamation marks
My words stumble before I start
How far can you send emotions?
Can this bridge cross the ocean?

I'm going in for the kill
I'm doing it for a thrill
Oh I'm hoping you'll understand
And not let go of my hand


Let's go to war
To make peace
Let's be cold
To create heat
I hope in darkness
We can see
And you're not blinded by the light from me

I'm going in for the kill
I'm doing it for a thrill
Oh I'm hoping you'll understand
And not let go of my hand

Can't win...ever!