Prayer of transformation

Lay your corpse upon a nest of oak leaves
Wrapped in a star shroud repent your flesh
A shadow child dissolves

Meditate in a den of skins and straight poles
A sacred fire of madrone burns eternally
In a circle of turquoise and serpentine
Whisper the prayer of transformation

Engulfed by clouds of thujone
Emerge purified clad in a golden fleece
A vessel awaits built from owl feathers and moss

DAZZLE

The stars that shine 
And the stars that shriek
In the face of stagnation the water runs
Before your eyes

Dazzle It's a glittering prize

 Swallowing diamonds
A cutting throat
Your teeth when your breath
Reflecting beams on tombstones

A jamboree of surprises
Playing Russian roulette
Or the lucky clip
A clenched fist to your heart
Coal dust on your lungs

A silver tongue for the chosen one
Heavy magnum in your side or a bloody
Thorn
Skating bullets on angel dust
In the dead sea of fluid mercury
Baby piano crews
Under your heave index and thumb
Pull some strings-let them sing

half of what

The shape of your head is a twist of the truth,

The skulls on these walls, are they connected to you?

The stars are like eyes climbing out of a mist,

The temperatures rise like an easter morning sun,

Its not something you learn its just something you do,

And sometimes I wonder whether my other half is you.

Cause I am only half, of what I am,

And half of that is what, the lies can do,

Where the rest is, I don't know,

And I'm not sure if I wanna know.

Back on my own, it took me this long,

To scale to the top of this (grassy/misty) mountain side you're on,

But now I can see where its all been leading to,

The skulls on these walls, how they're connected to you,

Walking with you down a slippery slope, and you said,

"If I was the sun, you'd be the world I'd shine onto."

Au pays Natal: to the homeland

• 
  Descending,
  An orbit gone wrong,
  
  Europa rely,
  Europa will rely,
  
  The monolith is calling me.
  The monolith is calling me.
  
  Living on the ideal of,
  borrowed time.
  
  Living on your own,
  the darkness of the light,
  the silence in between,
  I remember your eyes,
  and softness of the skin,
  
  Living on your own,
  borrowed time.
  
  The monolith is calling me,
  the names of all the ones I loved,
  no time in space,
  no day or night to know,
  how long I’ve been away from your home,
  how long – I’ve drifted away - I’ve drifted away
  
  An orbit gone wrong,
  The shell of a man,
  has lost his form again,
  The shell of man.
  Forgotten form,
  an orbit gone wrong
  Descending,
  an orbit gone wrong.
  
  Borrowed time,
  can't show me.
  Monolith is calling,
  descending, the names of
  my own memories.
  
  This shell of a man has forgotten,
  his human form at last,
  shell of a man forgotten,
  his human form again
  
  Look to the sky for Mary.
  Bleed up to the light.
  Shell of a man forgotten,
  his human form at last,
  shell of man,
  forgotten human form.
  
  Your dream died today.
  
  Turn it around,
  crumbling odds,
  your failed me,
  turn it around,
  crumbling down,
  you failed me.
  
  Shell of a man forgotten, bleed up to the light
  Shell of a man forgotten his human form again.
  Shell of a man Europa - lift me up.
  Shell of man, turning over, your dream died today.
  Shell of man has forgotten human form - you failed me
  Shell of man, forgotten human form
  Shell of man, your dream died today
  Shell of man forgotten
  Shell of man. Living on borrowed time.
  
• 
  

Darkness.

“Darkness, so pure not a single ray of light can find it’s way to me. How long have I soaked in this darkness…eternity? Though at times I think just a moment. I feel nothing, as though there were nothing and I am floating in it. I have preserved my sanity, have I not? Or did I lose it somewhere? And yet in this darkness and its fantasies, one thing is still clear in my mind. That alone like lighting splitting through the darkness, she appears so vividly in my mind. Over and over again it swells and sinks like the waves of a tsunami. Hatred, friendship, jealousy, indignation, emptiness, love, sorrow… They all come together in a single great storm. Driving a stake through my mind, holding my consciences together. The one who cast me into this darkness, she is now my anchor. The woman whose life was once in my hands. When did I fall under your control? I see you now, radiating so brilliantly it blinds me…”

Clean

Clean....The cleanest I've been
An end to the tears
And the in-between years
And the troubles I've seen 
Now that I'm clean
You know what I mean
I've broken my fall
Put an end to it all
I've changed my routine
Now I'm clean 
I don't understand
What destiny's planned
I'm starting to grasp
What is in my own hands 
I don't claim to know
Where my holiness goes
I just know that I like
What is starting to show 
Sometimes 
Clean
The cleanest I've been
An end to the tears
And the in-between years
And the troubles I've seen 
Now that I'm clean
You know what I mean
I've broken my fall
Put an end to it all
I've changed my routine
Now I'm clean 
As years go by
All the feelings inside
Twist and they turn
As they ride with the tide
I don't advise
And I don't criticise
I just know what I like
With my own eyes 
Sometimes 
Clean
The cleanest I've been
An end to the tears
And the in-between years
And the troubles I've seen 
Now that I'm clean
You know what I mean
I've broken my fall
Put an end to it all
I've changed my routine
Now I'm clean 
Sometimes

Pretty soon someone will be hired to deliver my heart in a box...

Policy of Truth...

You had something to hide
Should have hidden it, shouldn't you
Now you're not satisfied
With what you're being put through

It's just time to pay the price
For not listening to advice
And deciding in your youth
On the policy of truth

Things could be so different now
It used to be so civilised
You will always wonder how
It could have been if you'd only lied

It's too late to change events
It's time to face the consequence
For delivering the proof
In the policy of truth

Never again
Is what you swore
The time before
Never again
Is what you swore
The time before

Now you're standing there tongue tied
You'd better learn your lesson well
Hide what you have to hide
And tell what you have to tell
You'll see your problems multiplied
If you continually decide
To faithfully pursue
The policy of truth

Never again
Is what you swore
The time before

This is what I get.

Why do I bother?

I used to go get steak with dad on my birthday...

It's awesome having to beg your friends to get together for your own birthday.

Not only is my family "fair weather" so are my friends.

"Oh, you're like a sister to me..."

"You're the only family I have..."

I wish you could text message people in heaven

Hurt

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that's real

The needle tears a hole

The old familiar sting

Try to kill it all away

But I remember everything

What have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know

Goes away in the end

And you could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit

Upon my liar's chair

Full of broken thoughts

I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time

The feelings disappear

You are someone else

I am still right here

What have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know

Goes away in the end

And you could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

If I could start again

A million miles away

I will keep myself

I would find a way

Birthday mixed cd request time :)